The End. Then the Beginning.

Why letting go matters before beginning a new year.

For many years, I ditched the end of the year by shaking it off like a flea-ridden

blanket, vowing to overhaul everything about myself and my life. I promised that this

would be the year I became healthier, more disciplined, and more fulfilled. Instead, I

spent hours shaming myself for what wasn’t “good enough.” By the time the New

Year arrived, I already felt like a failure—barely making it past the starting line before

collapsing under the weight of new expectations and resolutions.

Today, my approach to personal growth looks very different.

Moving From Self-Criticism to Self-Reflection

I now place far more realistic demands on myself. More importantly, I’ve learned to

be reflective rather than reactive. Reflection offers a balanced perspective—one that

allows room for nuance, compassion, and truth.

Instead of rushing into a new beginning, I’ve learned the value of sitting with the

ending.

The Importance of Sitting With an Ending

Before setting goals or making New Year resolutions, I take time to reflect on what

the year has actually held:

• What has this year taught me?

• What progress have I made?

• How have my relationships changed?

• What phase of life am I in?

• What have I lost, and what have I gained?

• How present have I been?

• How has my sense of identity evolved?

This process of reflection isn’t a checklist I work through —it’s more like a train of thought, moving through many destinations. I consciously pause to honour the richest experiences, which are often obscured by daily routines or overshadowed by

difficulty.

Without reflection, we risk carrying unresolved emotions into the future—feelings we

no longer need but haven’t yet released.

Why Unresolved Endings Affect Our Mental Health

In my professional work, there is significant emphasis on endings and their

psychological impact. Endings can feel threatening, especially when they are linked

to fear, uncertainty, or loss. When they remain unresolved, they can leave us feeling

stuck, anxious, low, or under constant pressure—internally and in our relationships.

This kind of emotional turmoil isn’t limited to the end of a calendar year. That’s why I

believe it’s important to reconcile endings at any point in life, not just in December.

Growth Cannot Come From Shame

I don’t believe meaningful change or personal growth can come from shame. Shame

shuts us down; it doesn’t move us forward.

Rather than criticising myself for perceived shortcomings this year, I’m choosing to

accept the realities of what life has brought me—and my very human responses to it.

I’m more aware of what I’ve learned, more grounded in who I am, and more

confident about the year ahead.

Because I understand what I’ve already survived, I know I’ll be more resilient moving

forward. My lived experience provides valuable insight, helping to guide my next

steps with clarity rather than fear.

Making Space for a New Beginning

Acknowledging an ending—truly taking stock—creates space for a new beginning.

Reflection informs direction. It allows us to move into the future with intention, self-

knowledge, and openness to possibility.

Instead of forcing change, we allow it to emerge naturally from understanding.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why is reflection important before setting New Year goals?

Reflection helps you understand what you’ve learned, what you’ve survived, and

what truly matters—making goals more realistic, meaningful, and sustainable.

Can personal growth happen without self-criticism?

Yes. Research and lived experience show that growth rooted in self-compassion is

more sustainable than change driven by shame.

Do endings affect mental health?

Unresolved endings can contribute to anxiety, low mood, and emotional stagnation.

Taking time to process endings supports emotional well-being and resilience.

Is reflection only useful at the end of the year?

No. Reflection and closure can be beneficial at any point in life, especially during

transitions or periods of change.

Self-Care: Why & How?

What is Self-care?

The term ‘self-care’ covers a myriad of things we might do to tend to our physical, emotional and social well-being.

It may involve resting, exercising, eating healthily, enjoying hobbies, or socialising with family and friends. It is important to integrate self-care into our daily lives as it helps us to function at our best.

Through the busy lives we lead and the pressures we find ourselves under, self-care is often put on the back-burner and we can end up feeling stressed, overwhelmed, burnt-out or ill as a result.

Finding the right balance in your life to allow for physical, emotional and social activities is essential for your health and happiness. It’s useful to understand how each aspect plays a role in your well-being when you consider self-care ideas that suit you.

How to Go About Self-care

Physical Self-care

There is a strong connection between our body and mind. Each day our body is under duress to get us through the physical demands of life.. Just like a car, we cannot run without fuel, and maintenance is essential for smooth-running.

So... how well are you taking care of yourself? Do you have enough restful sleep? Do you eat the right foods? Are you staying hydrated? Do you exercise regularly? Do you take care of your body? Do you spend enough time outdoors?

If you answered ‘no’ to any of these questions, take a moment to tune into how your body feels right now. Notice any sensations... twinges, tingles, aches, fatigue, dry mouth. What do you think your body needs? Choose to do something manageable to address those needs. Perhaps a stretch or a quick walk would be helpful. Or maybe you feel tired, and a bubble-bath, book and early bed would suit you better. You know your body better than anyone else, so try to make little changes to prioritise your health and restoration. Build on these adjustments as they begin to come more naturally.

Emotional Self-care

Allowing our emotions to build up inside can be overwhelming. It can cause stress and anxiety, which can impact our daily interactions and relationships. This can then become a cycle, as our feelings can worsen if we feel isolated with our emotions.

It’s important to deal with unwieldy emotions like stress, anger and sadness as they come up, otherwise they build up and become unmanageable.

You might find reflection useful - you could journal, meditate, or make some time for mindfulness. Maybe you would prefer to do something more energetic, like go for a run or head to the gym. Exercise increases our dopamine levels and we can feel happier and more energetic after a good workout. Relaxation and creativity can also help us to feel less overwhelmed, so make time to do something you enjoy. You may also need an outlet - it can be helpful to talk to someone about your feelings.

Social Self-care

How you feel about yourself can be greatly impacted by your relationships with other people. Taking a break from social pressures is sometimes a necessity when you feel drained or anxious as a result of interacting with others - in person, or over social media. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself, and take a break from social media for a few days. It can really help to drown out your inner critic when you are not being made to feel inadequate. Try only following friends and pages that make you feel inspired and empowered.

Spend time with the most important people in your life to make memories and try new things. Having adventures, laughing and enjoying yourself provides a greater sense of fulfilment and deepens relationships.

Finally

Hopefully you are now feeling inspired to make some small adjustments in your life, make a bit more time for taking care of yourself, and strike up a more balanced and healthier existence. However, it’s also important to say that self-care is an ongoing process, with the ultimate goal

being the creation of a life that you do not feel the need to escape or recover from.