The End. Then the Beginning.

Why letting go matters before beginning a new year.

For many years, I ditched the end of the year by shaking it off like a flea-ridden

blanket, vowing to overhaul everything about myself and my life. I promised that this

would be the year I became healthier, more disciplined, and more fulfilled. Instead, I

spent hours shaming myself for what wasn’t “good enough.” By the time the New

Year arrived, I already felt like a failure—barely making it past the starting line before

collapsing under the weight of new expectations and resolutions.

Today, my approach to personal growth looks very different.

Moving From Self-Criticism to Self-Reflection

I now place far more realistic demands on myself. More importantly, I’ve learned to

be reflective rather than reactive. Reflection offers a balanced perspective—one that

allows room for nuance, compassion, and truth.

Instead of rushing into a new beginning, I’ve learned the value of sitting with the

ending.

The Importance of Sitting With an Ending

Before setting goals or making New Year resolutions, I take time to reflect on what

the year has actually held:

• What has this year taught me?

• What progress have I made?

• How have my relationships changed?

• What phase of life am I in?

• What have I lost, and what have I gained?

• How present have I been?

• How has my sense of identity evolved?

This process of reflection isn’t a checklist I work through —it’s more like a train of thought, moving through many destinations. I consciously pause to honour the richest experiences, which are often obscured by daily routines or overshadowed by

difficulty.

Without reflection, we risk carrying unresolved emotions into the future—feelings we

no longer need but haven’t yet released.

Why Unresolved Endings Affect Our Mental Health

In my professional work, there is significant emphasis on endings and their

psychological impact. Endings can feel threatening, especially when they are linked

to fear, uncertainty, or loss. When they remain unresolved, they can leave us feeling

stuck, anxious, low, or under constant pressure—internally and in our relationships.

This kind of emotional turmoil isn’t limited to the end of a calendar year. That’s why I

believe it’s important to reconcile endings at any point in life, not just in December.

Growth Cannot Come From Shame

I don’t believe meaningful change or personal growth can come from shame. Shame

shuts us down; it doesn’t move us forward.

Rather than criticising myself for perceived shortcomings this year, I’m choosing to

accept the realities of what life has brought me—and my very human responses to it.

I’m more aware of what I’ve learned, more grounded in who I am, and more

confident about the year ahead.

Because I understand what I’ve already survived, I know I’ll be more resilient moving

forward. My lived experience provides valuable insight, helping to guide my next

steps with clarity rather than fear.

Making Space for a New Beginning

Acknowledging an ending—truly taking stock—creates space for a new beginning.

Reflection informs direction. It allows us to move into the future with intention, self-

knowledge, and openness to possibility.

Instead of forcing change, we allow it to emerge naturally from understanding.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why is reflection important before setting New Year goals?

Reflection helps you understand what you’ve learned, what you’ve survived, and

what truly matters—making goals more realistic, meaningful, and sustainable.

Can personal growth happen without self-criticism?

Yes. Research and lived experience show that growth rooted in self-compassion is

more sustainable than change driven by shame.

Do endings affect mental health?

Unresolved endings can contribute to anxiety, low mood, and emotional stagnation.

Taking time to process endings supports emotional well-being and resilience.

Is reflection only useful at the end of the year?

No. Reflection and closure can be beneficial at any point in life, especially during

transitions or periods of change.